What actually happened
At Martha’s first lesson, I asked her whether she'd like to start with the piano or spend some time exploring the other instruments in the room. Piano, she said. We sat down and I asked whether she’d like to show me some of the things she’d done on her own. She said she really wanted to learn “Für Elise” and had tried to figure it out but couldn’t. “Can you show me what you tried?” I asked. She made a half-hearted attempt and gave up quickly, looking slightly embarrassed. I explained that it was quite an advanced piece and that it would be extremely hard for almost anyone to find it on their own. However, I said, we could certainly try the beginning and see how it goes.
I showed her where the first two piano keys are (E and D#) and asked her if she wanted to try to make them “sing” the very beginning of the piece. She nailed it after a couple of tries and squealed with excitement. “What about that next note?” I asked. “Any clue?” She tried to find it, but couldn't. “Let's sing it together and see if that helps.” As we sang, I traced the melody in the air so she could see how the next note jumps downward. After a few tries, Martha found it and was able to add it to the beginning. Because things get complicated after that, finding more by ear would have become tedious, so I switched to mimicking. “I'll play something, and after I play it, you do what I did. Okay?” “Okay!” Adding just one note to what she'd done, I played, then she played. She got it, so I added the next note. In this way we completed the first phrase.
Throughout this process, there had been no consideration of a proper fingering—Martha just grabbed any fingers at her disposal. Once she was solid with the notes, I said, “Okay, now you be the teacher. I'm going to play it and see if you have a suggestion for me.” I played the first phrase with the most awkward fingering I could come up with. Martha hesitated, so I said, “Do I look comfortable?” “No,” she said. “Do you have any suggestions?” “Just a second,” she said, and began to play it again herself giving more thought to the fingers she was using, eventually coming remarkably close to an acceptable fingering for that phrase. “Try it this way,” she said. I did, as she looked on beaming with pride. I explained to Martha that people who play the piano like things to be comfortable, and that what she came up with was called a fingering. After she played the phrase a few more times, Martha said she wanted to look at the other instruments.
Over the next several weeks, Martha became curious about what ”Für Elise” looked like on the printed page. By studying the first few measures, she began to understand the relationship between written notation and what she had played, and at her next lesson, she brought me some note writing experiments she had tried at home. Over the next few weeks we added on. Often, after learning a new phrase, she would stop and say, “That’s not a good fingering,” and would experiment until she found a better one. She also learned to vary her dynamics, discovered the importance of phrasing, and developed fluidity in her playing by figuring out musical fingerings. So Martha actually acquired some piano technique and musical knowledge through her experience with “Für Elise.”
After a month, Martha seemed content that her wish had been granted. She gave “Für Elise” a rest and moved on to learning a few simple songs by ear, figuring out how to write the notes for them, and exploring other instruments. She began to learn the ukulele. At the end of the second month, Martha’s mother called to say that music lessons were now the high point of Martha’s week.
Consider
So what have we here?
“Für Elise,” a piece that requires considerable technique
A child with no technique at all who has her heart set on learning it
A parent who specifically requests that you not start with technique
A real puzzler—what fun!
The teacher has a choice to make:
To accept Martha as a student only if she is willing and able to learn piano skills properly through discipline and hard work
To not allow Martha to start with “Für Elise” but find something within her technical grasp that she will enjoy
To forego technical step by step skill building in order to keep Martha connected to what she loves at all costs
There is no one right way to do anything. You have to do what works for you. If you are concerned that the student will form bad habits by poking at a piece before she is ready to learn it, or that it won't do justice to the music, you may be right! But given her mother's request, Martha's enthusiasm must be the priority—not musical perfection. Because I’ve encountered the “Martha dilemma” many times, I’ve come to realize something that has been incredibly helpful when working with a student like Martha. Ready?
Most children who say “I want to play [Insert your difficult song or piece]” don't mean that they want to learn the piece. They know they aren’t ready! What they mean is that they want to connect with the piece. This is very different! Once in a while, a child (like David, puzzler #10) does stick with a piece long enough to acquire the technique needed to actually play it. But most children I’ve worked with are so delighted to be able to produce even one phrase that sounds like the song that they are happy to then move on to something else. So for me it was FUN to tackle this problem: find the fastest, easiest, most efficient way to weld the hopeful Martha to the difficult “Für Elise.”
The teacher’s choice of what to do with a student like Martha is a fork in the road that will not only affect the student's present piano learning experience, but her entire musical future. When children quit music lessons because they weren't ready to start technique, it often happens that at some later point when they might have been ready, they were so traumatized by the past experience that they never try again. Many of these children grow up to be people who believe not only that they have no musical ability at all, but that they were too lazy, undisciplined and lacking in perseverance—just didn't have what it takes to become a musician. But if we are able to trade rigidity for being in the moment with the child, great things can happen for everyone involved. In this case, Martha continued her lessons happily for three years, her mother was thrilled and grateful, and I, the teacher was able to keep her as a student.
In children’s lives, encountering an adult who really cares about what they want to do is unusual. But it is a profound experience for a child to discover that not only can they feel a deep attachment to music, but to the process of learning it, and a teacher can facilitate this by trying a few simple things:
Have a preliminary conversation w parents to find out what, if anything, the child has been doing musically.
When the child first comes to you ask what they would like to start with, or give choices.
Start with what they want to do. If that seems difficult, try to imagine a way to allow the student to at least sample a tiny bit of it. You might show them which 2-4 piano keys they will need to get started and offer them the chance to figure out a few notes on their own. Or they may just have to copy you mechanically adding on a note at a time.
The idea is simply to forge a connection between the student and whatever may come next. And this will certainly give you a better idea of what should come next! In addition, it will build trust, and create a powerfully effective teacher-student relationship, one in which meaningful learning can take root. It goes without saying that a student having this sort of experience will, most likely, want to continue taking lessons with that teacher. So if you are invested in keeping your students enthusiastically engaged, and are accomplishing this in your own way, please just keep doing whatever you are doing!