I wrote this puzzler to shine a light on a problem that seems largely kept under wraps.

Many professional musicians are happy as clams throughout their careers, but a surprising number of successful musicians tell me that they don't have a passion for what they do. Almost all of them feel that they had no say in the matter; that learning their instrument and their subsequent career happened to them. A world famous mandolin virtuoso confided that as a child, it was really the cello she wanted to learn, but her mother insisted on the mandolin. To this day she wonders what might have happened had she had that chance. An orchestral violinist likened his profession to a day job and lives for his vacations. But having gotten as far as they have, most feel that trying to find something else they’re good at, can earn money doing, and love, feels too overwhelming. While it’s always sad to learn that someone is unhappy with what they do all day, every day, I find it particularly distressing to hear this from musicians, since the essential reason for pursuing any of the arts is for the love of it.

This subject can get very complicated very fast, so I'm going to focus on one specific aspect of it: How we begin a child's musical experience. Parents don't sign their kids up for music lessons because they want their child to be miserable. Yes, sometimes it's done for extrinsic reasons, such as seeming well-rounded when you apply to colleges, but I think parents generally do it out of the noble intention of enhancing their child's life. What parents don't understand because no one mentions it, is that the choice of an instrument is personal. What works for your friend's son, who studies trumpet with a teacher said to be the best in town and is winning awards left and right, may be a disaster for your child if she is not predisposed to blow her feelings into an instrument. Making an arbitrary decision about what instrument a child should pursue makes as much sense as deciding that your 5-years old should live on a diet of black olives. Given that the personal connection to an instrument is a well-kept secret, and that, therefore, the learning ritual is established from a young age with no consideration of that, it's no wonder we have so many discontented virtuosos (to say nothing of the music lesson drop-outs introduced in previous puzzlers)!

Although there is no foolproof route to living one’s dream, why not give the child a fighting chance from the beginning? It would be so simple, logical, beneficial and respectful of the individual to set up an environment that offers exposure to different types of instruments before choosing one to study. Getting your hands on different instruments and taking time to try them out will tell you a lot about who you are musically and which instrument seems to be “calling” you. This is how Anna discovered at the age of 3 that she felt a connection with instruments that had strings on them. Over the years this organically transformed into a strong desire to learn the violin, and when she began lessons at 13, it felt natural and right for her. Pete Seeger got to try all kinds of instruments on his own before discovering his affinity for the banjo! An exploratory experience can increase the young person’s chance of finding a path that is right for them, rather than be confronted with the sort of crisis depicted in the puzzler.

In our poll, over 50% of the responders chose to take time off to figure out who they are without any institutional structure. The second most popular (but still only 20%) choice was to look for something else to do within the music profession. 10% chose to stick with the auditions and 5% chose to go back to college. These numbers, along with some brilliantly thoughtful comments, reflect a variety of interesting perspectives on this important and complicated subject. View comments below.

So many people seem unhappy with their path in life. Do you think that having a chance to figure out who you are before making life choices could help the situation? If we want inspired and fulfilled people in the world, where do we start?